The 30s are the best decade for women and other bullshit

You would think that when you go past your 30th birthday, things would settle down and one would feel more mature and fairly in control of their present and future. All those articles I read in the various women's mags ( you know the ones I am talking about-Cosmopolitan- yes,I read them occasionally)told me 'the 30s are the best decade for a woman'. Apparently the 20s are the angst years - we are supposed to be full of worries about our careers (I am gonna show that I am good at what I do, just like the guys), personal lives (he loves me ,he loves me not; oh-my-God-everyone-is-getting married)and life in general.
Well let me tell this to all the women who read my blog. All that I read and I am sure you have too, is a whole load of crap. I am in my early thirties, I am living with the man I love, I have achieved some amount of success in my career and yet to my horror the angst is still there. And strangely I worry about almost the same things I did in my 20s!!

I guess I am currently going through a 'what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-next' phase. I lament over the fact that while in my twenties I was always doing well in my studies, now I do well but it is just that there are people who are better than me. Sure, I should look at the big picture like Aj says but somehow exams get me all wound up over the fact that I should be aiming for the top place. Then you wonder- is this what happens after you cross 30? You are doing your best,but,your best,suddenly has become someone else's second best. Hmmm....gosh am getting old here!?

On paper I should be happy that I am almost nearing the end of my course and I should be looking forward to my life ahead. But I am gripped with an anxiety of what will I actually be doing in september this year. That feeling got me thinking as to why should I be doing anything at all. Technically I can take a 'career break'.But the mere thought gets me more anxious. Now, this I CAN blame on me being an Indian. Among my friends and family back in India, the word 'career break' is like speaking Latin.What I mean is, that conversations could go like this -

Relative- So what are you doing now?
Me- Nothing actually, I am on a career break.
Silence- very uncomfortable silence
Relative- what do you mean by that?
Me- Well, I am just taking time off for awhile
Relative- But why not do some job, you know part-time or something and make some money.Besides you have spent money doing this course,isn't it?
Me- Yes, that's an idea but I think I can take some time off now
Relative- Why take time off, this is the age to work not take a break. There will be a time when you have to take a break.
Me- (just staring into space like I am not AT ALL interested)
Relative- You know when you become as old as me.Now is the time to work.
Me- (very uncomfortable and starting to feel my heart rate rise as all my pent up anxiety just starts to show its ugly head)

So now I am wondering what is it that my generation of working women have got it so wrong, that we have to think so much before we take a break from working/studying. Why can't I have more self -confidence to be able to take life as it comes and enjoy each day as it goes by. Am I doomed to work till I die because I don't know what to do with my time( after a few weeks of holiday)? GAAAAAHHHHH!

The 30s are the best decade for women- right.
I haven't heard a more bullshittier (that's my word for the day) statement than that.
That,my dear readers,feels a lot better now.