Nafisa Joseph and others who lost hope

Two days ago Nafisa Joseph died. I always felt that she was one of those VJs who was'nt a bimbo. She was articulate and intelligent. For me ,the fact that she was from Bangalore made her that little bit special.

If she had died in an accident I would 've felt bad but to think that she found life so hopeless as to take her own life.....why?

I have seen people I know very well who have committed suicide and I have seen what their families are going through.

Among them was a young mother,who was a qualified professional(speech therapist) ,and was unable to tell her parents or siblings that she was caught in a marriage which was not doing justice to her intellectual abilities,and, sought to end her life. She had a 5 year old son.She was conscious when she was taken to the hospital and was alive for a day after.She said she wanted to live.She wanted to take care of her son.But it was late.They could'nt save her.I was 18 years old and I was deeply affected. I keep wondering why did such an intelligent woman feel that the only way out was to die? I shudder to think of the thoughts which must have gone through her mind when she was in the hospital-wanting to live....how tragic...

Another,a bright doctor who had just got into a prestigious course at one of the country's top institutions and had recently married a sensitive woman (who was a doctor herself ) decided that he had had enough, and took his own life.He left behind a wife who was widowed for the second time in her life ( I thought ,how will she ever accept this, and get on with her life? What was life trying to tell her having made her a widow again?) and a mother who had lost her older son a few years back ( how will she get her peace in the last years of her life?). I had finished my training in psychiatry and I was unable to make any sense of it all.

Ofcourse many talk of various reasons why people commit suicide- stress,depression,abnormal family histories,drug/alcohol abuse.....and many others. But, even as a mental health professional I am unable to make sense of the extreme degree of hopelessness people go through. These are people who have seen success in their lives,most have had people who are willing to listen to them,most have the capacity to take a break , and take it easy (if the going was too tough) but they did 'nt believe that they could get out of it.

I feel a sense of deep pain when I think of the people left behind.Seeing them, come to terms with the tragedy has brought me to tears many times.It makes me more determined ,to constantly check for any sense of hopelessness in the circle of people I know.

But in our day-to-day lives we tend to tell people who are close to us, who tell us that they would rather die- to get a grip on themselves and get on with their lives.Many times it may not be enough.The internet is full of sites which give us simple guidelines on how to help people who express their wish to die/to be dead rather than alive/or say they want to commit suicide.But,not many have access to the internet.

I guess there should be emphasis on the need to express one's feelings(especially those which makes us sad/uncomfortable) from a young age-no matter how disturbing they are.Many countries have suicide helplines.Proabably not many know that there are similar helplines in India. There are helplines which offer a broader range of services which include support to those who are contemplating suicide.

These are some options to help avert suicide, but for families like those of Nafisa's it is late.They will be left with the pain and agony of wondering whether they could've done anything to avert the loss of their loved one.....and most of them will not get any specific answer.And that, is the real tragedy.