Identity 2: Good Indian Vs. Bad Indian (Part II)

I come from a family where I was told that India is a great country and that our values and culture were superior to the ‘West’. When relatives came to visit us there was a lot of talk of how many rupees one dollar could get, how the roads were wide and clean in the ‘West’, about how cold it got and how you couldn’t get avvakai pickle or sambhar powder in the ‘West’. It was obvious to my folks that we kids were getting carried away by the ‘West’. So after these relatives left, my folks used to tell us about how the west was bad- I remember being told that people slept which each other before marriage, teenage pregnancies, no family support, drugs etc.

But, as you grow older you realize all’s not right in your own country. It especially hit me when I trained to become a psychiatrist. Apart from patients with severe mental illness, I saw victims of child sexual abuse (as young as 2 years old), I saw victims of domestic violence (their husbands range from the local cleaner, to doctors, lawyers and doctors-it was horrifying), I saw how pathological Indian families could get, I saw how prejudiced my culture was (gay men forced to marry women, lesbians who dare not even open their mouth- all in the name of preserving our great culture) ,and it made me realize my culture was not as perfect as it was made out to be.

Now I have lived in the ‘West’ and I realize that their culture has strengths too. Sure they have their problems but the context and realities are so different that it would be foolish to even compare them. I may like the clean roads and orderly traffic in London but, I will not complain about the roads in Bangalore- they are just too damn different to be compared. Does that make me less of an Indian? I would like to think it doesn’t. I just have an extra perspective which colours my opinion. Only when you realize where the flaws lie can you improve it. Does that make Indians who are in India less balanced? No, it doesn’t. I talk for myself. But unfortunately I have had friends interpret my viewpoint as demeaning to them. I am not going to fight that. I tell myself- you have to choose your battles.

Leaving the hospital made me realize how important public health was. I decided to study further and I am now trying to work in India. I want to do it because I feel strongly about it and because I am getting an opportunity. It is an uncertain path and I don’t know how it will turn out. I feel it is possible to get funding for some projects from the West, and help the cause of Public Health in the East. It may not work out and I may end up working in the West. Does that make me bad Indian?